How to Heal from Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma is difficult because many times the betrayal is on the other side of someone you know and trust, not a stranger. Betrayal trauma can happen with a parent, with an intimate partner, with a trusted friend, or even with a larger institution such as your church or your work place. 

Symptoms may include an inability to recognize your emotions and feelings, confusion, physical symptoms, dissociation (being in a fog), anxiety, and depression. Betrayal trauma can have a lasting effect. Here are ways to start your healing journey today. 

Acknowledge Your Trauma

When it comes to trauma, our natural response is to attempt to bury it, avoid it, or forget about it. There is no magic trick to erase it, despite our best efforts to get over it!  Most often trauma will resurface in other ways. In order to truly heal, it is important to come to terms with what our trauma experience. 

To start the healing journey, it is important to lean into the trauma experience, to acknowledge it and explore the feelings and emotions associated with it. Rather than spiral into self-doubt and self-criticism, explore ways to overcome any issues you have stemming from your trauma.  Many times we take responsibility for the betrayal itself resulting in a shame based experience.  It is important we place responsibility where it needs to be and unhook ourselves from any responsibility regarding the betrayal trauma.  A trauma therapist can help with this process. 

Practice Acceptance and Mindfulness

After any type of betrayal, you may notice feelings of humiliation, shame, sickness, grief, and vengeance. Because these feelings and emotions are  difficult to experience, denying the incident may seem like the most productive thing to do. Denial is the brains most common first response to a traumatic experience.  Unfortunately, this response stalls any meaningful regulation of emotions and recovery.

It is important to name your emotions you’re experiencing. Calling them what they are can make them less scary and increase your emotional awareness.

Mindfulness can play a helpful role in this process by bringing more awareness to your mind and body experience. It can also help ground you while you’re in this emotional stage.

Focus on Your Physical Health

Your mind and body are strongly connected. Our emotional system and our immune system are one in the same.  The status of your physical health can greatly influence your mental health. Taking care of your body can send a signal to your brain that you are worth this effort.

Fuel your body with healthy, nutrient rich foods. Drink the appropriate amount of water necessary for your body. Exercise consistently. Establish a good sleeping routine for rest and recovery.

Attend to Your Needs

Pay attention to what your needs are after a traumatic experience. If your mind races at night, try to incorporate soothing music, relaxation exercises, aromatherapy, or a warm bath.  Routine is very important for our process. If you’re struggling with your appetite (i.e. a low appetite), focus your intake on energy boosting foods. Limit caffeine and alcohol and drink water.

Aside from the basic life needs, be sure to focus on higher level self care. Don’t be afraid to pamper yourself every once in a while. Self care helps form the foundation of good mental and physical health. Do activities that serve you. Go for a walk, take up yoga, attend a cycling class. Pick up a new hobby. Curl up with a good book. There’s no set definition of what self care is.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are what you do to protect yourself. Most people don’t voluntarily set boundaries, so it can be a difficult concept.  A trauma therapist can help with your process.

You may need to start with setting a soft boundary. Express your feelings in a circumstantial and more flexible manner.

Share Your Story

Sharing your story involves being able to relive the situation and all the feelings that come with it. Doing so in a safe environment allows you to be vulnerable, but also heal. Find a space with others who can provide you support.

Being able to help someone else by sharing your story can further aide in your healing process.

Seek Therapy Services

If you have suffered a betrayal trauma, it may be more to take on than you can do alone. Speaking with a professional who can guide you through your healing process can reduce the struggle.

If you’re dealing with betrayal trauma, contact us to learn more about your options for trauma therapy. A sliding scale is offered to those in need.